PART 3
Bringing Kaitlyn home
I came home with a new love in my heart, and a lot on my mind. I prayed hard with my family for God’s guidance. I still received photos of other little girls from other agents, and one in particular was a newborn, only a week old, and heeding my parents’ advice, went to see this baby. She was sweet and oh so small, and I spent time carrying and feeding her. I don’t know why, but even though I held her in my arms and all, my heart was still with the Kaitlyn and I somehow felt this little one was meant to be with another loving family (she was adopted a week later).
I then approached my agent to proceed with arranging the adoption for Kaitlyn. He guided me on the steps to take: they needed to apply for Kaitlyn’s passport and get her birth certificate from the birth mother. Once these were ready, she would fly to Singapore for the medical check-up and stay with me for 3 days. In the meantime, I’d get photo updates from the nanny sent to me on Whatsapp.
Her travel documents took over a month to be ready! And I was due to go on a work trip around that time, so I was almost in panic mode. Thankfully, everything worked out and little Kaitlyn was soon on her way to Singapore.
She had grown so much when I picked her up — when I took her from the agent’s arms, she just looked at me, almost as if saying: “Oh it’s you again!”
I brought her home and introduced her to Joshua and Knight. Joshua immediately introduced Kaitlyn to his soft toys. It was quite tiring that first night, with us figuring out why she cried, if she was hungry or wet or tired. She took small but frequent feeds. All the baby-caring skills came back to me as I bathed her, diapered her, fed her and so on. The next day, I brought her for her medical check-up, and then back home to rest. My parents came over to see her and took turns carrying her. It was my dad’s first time meeting Kaitlyn, and I’m glad to say they took to each other very well!
| Surrounded by toys | 
| With Oma | 
| With Opa |
All too soon, we were on the way to send her off. It wasn’t easy for me to hand her over to the agent, but Joshua and I gave her many hugs and kisses, and told her she would soon be home with us for good.
The next step was applying for the Dependant’s Pass (DP). THIS WAS TEDIOUS. Simple paperwork right? Fill out the form, submit it with the relevant documents, and await the approval of the DP, right? Not that easy.
The usual process takes a month, according to the MSF website. I had read on forums that some took up to 2 months. Mine took over 3 months!
When I hadn’t heard anything back from MSF after 6 weeks, I took the advice of some parents from this adoption group I was a member of and sought the help of my MP (Member of Parliament) Dr Vivian Balakrishnan and Mr Desmond Lee, Minister of MSF.
Even with the ministers writing in on my behalf, MSF did not help to expedite. Calling them was like talking to a recorded machine, with them saying each case is different; they are swamped with many cases; they will help to expedite, etc. I could literally hear them sigh whenever they realised it was me calling in to inquire again.
While I understood that MSF had to handle numerous cases, I was mainly concerned with my baby being left in the care of a nanny who probably had other babies to care for. With the photo and video updates coming in every 14 days, I could see my baby slowly growing up and always lying in the crib, sitting on the floor playing with paper, with the nanny’s handphone as her entertainment on the bed, etc. Although the cost of paying the nanny to look after the baby was hefty, I was more concerned that she wasn’t getting the attention and stimulation during these months where she could have been with me.
Finally, after 12 weeks, I received a call from MSF informing me that the DP has been approved and the In-Principle Approval (IPA) letter was on its way to me. I immediately called my agent and he began making the arrangements for Kaitlyn to be brought over to Singapore!
At last, my baby was coming home!
Home sweet home
It has been a long process: from meeting Kaitlyn when she was 10 weeks old to her coming home to us at 7 months old. All those months apart…could anything have been done differently? Could MSF have improved in their administrative role?
Nevertheless, Kaitlyn was finally home and each day with her is a new discovery for all of us.
She smiles a lot, but hardly laughs out loud. She loves her milk and switches between formulas without a fuss (I had 3 sample tins from different brands). She loves being carried but can’t lie down still in bed with me — she would crawl all over me. She enjoys bathtime immensely.
But one thing we all found out… Kaitlyn loves to EAT! As she was already 7 months old when she came home, I could immediately wean her. I had read up so much on baby-led weaning (BLW) and traditional weaning, and decided to incorporate both as I felt there were benefits from each. She sees food and immediately wants to try it. Her expressions as she eats a food for the first time are priceless!
I also introduced her to baby signs, and to no surprise, the first 2 signs she learnt and mastered were ‘eat’ and ‘more’. And as she learnt to vocalise, ‘mum mum mum’ was at the top of the list!
Watching her grow each day is pure joy, and life with Kaitlyn in our family just got better.
| Part 4 |
