PART 1
An old hope
The one question I’m always asked is:
You already have your own child. Why do you still want to adopt?
Honestly? I don’t even know why it matters that I already have a biological child. It’s almost like asking someone why she keeps buying more handbags despite already having one. In fact, my mother’s reason for buying anything is simply because she doesn’t have it in a particular colour or design.
But ok, you can’t compare a child to worldly goods, so here’s the real truth.
I just always felt that desire to adopt.
I guess it all started when I was young, around 9 or 10 years old. I had watched several movies and documentaries that broached on the topic of adoption, and it left a very deep impression on me. I recall one particular documentary that delved into the lives of children who had no family and no home. The thought of a child feeling unwanted, unloved and without a home to call her own was heart wrenching. It was precisely this feeling that made me want to adopt a child one day. While I knew I wanted to give birth to a child, I still hoped to give a home to a child who needed one.
Almost lost
The decision to adopt is not an individual one, especially when you’re married. My ex was not exactly open to adoption. His reasoning was that adoption should only be considered if we were unable to have biological children. After some time, this looked likely as I had trouble conceiving, but nearly three years later, we welcomed our bundle of joy, Joshua, into our family. And with that, the topic of adoption was closed.
After the divorce, it took me some time to settle my affairs: finding my own place, managing my finances, and most importantly, ensuring Joshua thrives at home and at school.
Thankfully, I had the support of my parents and close friends, and soon everything was going well. In fact, I finally got my own place after two years of living at my parents’ home.
Yet something was bugging me…it was that old hope awakening. I was in a good place, with a stable job, a home and a son who was growing up so quickly. And this time, I had no one holding me back.
After much prayers, I brought up the topic to Joshua. He had asked for siblings before, so I figured he would not be opposed to it. He asked if I wanted a baby boy or girl, and I replied that the gender was not important as long as it was a child who needed a home. He then said he thought I may like to have a daughter, although he wanted a brother, but that he’s okay with a sister too. I was prepared for any further questions he may have, but that was that.
It was only a few weeks later that he would ask where these babies came from, why they were put up for adoption, and why their parents did not want to keep them. And I answered him as truthfully as I could, even a quick touch and go on the topic of teenage pregnancies, as I always believed in being honest and as matter-of-fact with Joshua. No use trying to shield a child from what goes on in the world. But that’s another topic to be discussed later.
Next, I had to bring this up to my parents. Their main worry was whether I really wanted to take this on as a single mom. With each concern they listed out, I replied them honestly and reassured them that I knew how adopting a child would bring about changes in my life, but it would be worth it. My mother actually surprised me — she recalled how as a child I had mentioned my interest to adopt. My parents then gave me their blessing and told me they’d support me on my journey in any way they could, and that they’d keep me and my future child in prayer.
|Part 2 |
