I talked about how a child’s safety can get compromised in my article on name labels, and decided to delve more into keeping children safe.
You read in the news about child abduction, child abuse and all the dangers that could happen to your child that it becomes a real concern. What is the world coming to? Now, I’m no expert, so I can’t really tell you exactly what to do or not to do, but I can share how I keep my own kids safe. The 2 areas below are what I actually did with Joshua, and will also apply to Kaitlyn in the near future.
Stranger danger
With social media and name labels these days, anyone can know your child’s name. Calling a child by name brings about familiarity and may lower the guard of the child.
That’s why Joshua and I always had an understanding that he should never go off with someone who he didn’t know, despite what that person said. To make him feel safer, we came up with a secret word/phrase that would be used ONLY in emergencies. I assured him that if ever I needed him picked up by someone, this person would reveal the secret word/phrase so he’d know I had arranged it, or he could ask to call me directly on the phone. Once the secret word/phrase has been used, we would change to a new one immediately.
I instructed him that if the person denied him the phone call check, he had the right to not follow that person. I also gave him the go ahead to shout, kick and punch if anyone tried to take him forcibly, explaining that it’s to draw attention to himself and that person. In doing so, unsavoury characters will usually back off as attention is the last thing they want in such a scenario.
But I don’t agree with the Stranger Danger practice being taught to kids. Not all strangers are bad. And I don’t understand why some parents use the policemen or the rag-and-bone people (karang guni), as a threat!
“If you are naughty, the police will catch you!”
“You better behave or else the karang guni will come and get you!”
Sound familiar?
A child needs to know that if he/she’s in danger, to approach a police officer for help, or another adult if so. Teach your child to trust his/her instinct when asking such people. Same rule applies if a respectable-looking person tries to grab or pull the child away against his will — shout, kick, punch!
Respect your body
Now this one is particularly difficult. As parents, we want to wrap our kids up in bubble wrap to keep them safe from pervasive people, but sometimes it is the people you know that try to hurt your child. More often than not, statistics have shown that child abuse can happen right under your own roof and in places that you thought was safe. It could be a teacher, a school staff, family members or even friends. So the best way to protect your child is to inculcate in them what the right touch is, and what a wrong touch is.
Now you may think this only applies to girls, but abuse, sexual abuse, can also happen to boys. I started talking to Joshua from young about how his body is HIS alone, and that if anyone makes him feel uncomfortable, he has the right to say “NO”. I never forced him to hug or kiss anyone, be it a relative or a friend. If he didn’t feel comfortable about it, then I didn’t push it. By forcing your kids to show physical affection against their will, they will think it’s ok, and that would work against them if they are faced with a predator.
I also spoke to him about the right touch, like a handshake, a high five etc are all fun and harmless. But if anyone wanted to touch him in his private areas, those fall under the wrong touch. An easy way to explain to him was that if it’s a body area normally clothed, people should not touch him there, especially in the underwear area. I reinforced this by saying that not even a doctor or nurse should touch him in these areas unless Mommy is around, and even I should not touch him there for any reason. This is to instill in him that even his closest family members should not be touching him in private body areas.
And most importantly, I told him to always confide in me if ever he was touched in a way he felt uncomfortable, or told not to tell anyone about it. I reassured him that it’s never his fault, and that he should not hide such incidents from me.
I hope that what I shared may help you keep your own kids safe. For those few friends who know, I’m speaking from experience and therefore do not want my kids to suffer in the hands of a sadistic person.
If you have other suggestions on how you keep your child safe, do share below.
Helpful reads:
https://www.onetoughjob.org/articles/10-ways-to-keep-children-safer
https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/safety/top_safety_tips_kids
Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NIV
