Thanks to Avengers: Endgame, the highly anticipated movie for this year (2019), the phrase “I love you 3000” became synonymous with expressing how much you love someone — especially from a child to parent.
Not originally from the script, Robert Downey Jr actually incorporated the line from his own life; his child actually says that to him at home.
For me, it just brought back memories of how Joshua used to express his love to me, and how the numerical value grew as he learnt more numbers:
“I love you 1000 Mommy!“
“Mommy, I love you 10,000!“
“I love you 1 million, billion, gazillion!“
In fact, I always received the greatest value of his love professions. He would go around declaring how much he loved his Opa, cousins Samantha and Kenneth, even my parents’ domestic helper (Bibik Yati).
While all this is cute for a young child, it did have some not-so-pleasant moments. When it came to Oma, Joshua was not so generous. Now I know he loves his grandmother, but he got a kick out of Oma always asking how much he loves her and her reaction to his response.
“Joshua, how much do you love Oma?”
“I love you… 5.”
“Why so little? Oma is so sad.”
(Joshua laughs)
“If Oma buys you your favourite cookie, will you love Oma more?”
“Yes! I’ll love you 100!”
“Wow, that’s a lot. Oma is so happy! If I cook for you spaghetti?”
“Then I’ll love you 1000!”
It even got to a point when he started ranking his loved ones. I was always No.1, while Opa came in a close 2nd. If I recall correctly, it was always around this order:
1st: Mommy
2nd: Opa
3rd: Jiejie Sammi
4th: Bibik Yati
5th: JiuMa Susanna
6th: Alyssa (his BFF then)
7th: Didi Ken
8th: Oma
My poor mother always got the lowest ranking! It became some kind of game to him, and I felt like he was bordering on manipulating his Oma to gain his favour through her actions.
I had to put a stop to this. I did not want my son growing up thinking it was all right to quantify his love, to make people earn his love… in short, plain manipulation.
I spoke to Joshua on how wonderful it was that he loves us, and how much we love him too. Then I asked him if he loves his Oma… he said yes. When I probed further as to why he always ranked her low, he admitted it was because he found it funny to see her reaction, and also because sometimes he didn’t like that she kept adding food to his plate and making him eat food he didn’t always like.
I had to explain that while Oma may laugh about it, she is in fact sometimes saddened by it, and that she only ‘overloads’ his dinner plate because she wants him to grow up strong. He then promised he would stop making her feel sad. And he understood that he should love her as his grandmother unconditionally, and not just someone he can wrangle treats from.
To my mom, I had to tell her not to give in to Joshua’s every whim, or give him the idea that love is quantified by deeds. He should not have the upper hand in the relationship, or use his love for her as a bargaining chip. My mom hadn’t thought of it that way, and finally realised she had been trying too hard.
All that was in the Joshua’s earlier years as a pre-schooler to lower primary; things are different now. He no longer ranks his love for us, nor profess just how much he loves us. He’s now a moody preteen who subtly asks for our time, gives us half-hugs, and goes back to his games. I don’t ask him how much he loves me anymore — instead, I ask if he knows how much I love him, and if he loves me back. His answer?
Yes, I love you.
And that is all that matters.
~My personal favourite~
I love you all the way to the moon and into outer space…
~ Joshua on 21 October 2012 (I have this on video)
I love you all the way to the stars!
| Joshua – 6 years old | 
